And if we can do that for others, why cannot we do that for ourselves? One of the best things we can do to ourselves, is to start treating yourself as if you care about yourself. Treat yourself as you would your best, most treasured friend. We would never tell them that they need to look better.
No — you see them and love them as they are. I hope that if anyone ever makes fun of you for how you look, I hope you can be strong — and dress however you want, sport whatever hairstyle you want, and go out and look whatever way you want.
Your happiness depends solely on yourself. What others say or do to you is completely irrelevant to your own happiness. This may sound weird to some of you — but drill this in your mind until you completely understand this. You are completely free to be happy. Despite what others say about you, you must take responsibility to feed words of love to yourself even when others do not. For some of you, the way you look may affect the opportunities you go after — due to low self esteem.
There is still so much we can do in living. No matter what you may think, at the end of the day, looks do not matter. What matters is your personality, charisma, positivity, and the ability to be compassionate towards others. It takes time, effort, and lots of passion to reach success. Persistence will get you up there, giving up will only lose you the chance.
You are a different person than what you appear in your photos, in the mirror, or to other people in your everyday life. So be aware of how you see the world — and make it so beautiful that nothing else could ever be ugly. Your letter represents a fragile start: You want to look different and feel different and be different.
You want to feel lovely, and good, and kind, and deserving of love. The first step is making yourself vulnerable to this feeling. So say it with me: I want to feel beautiful. I want love. You chose a goal with a lot of shame around it. You care about aesthetics. You care about how things seem from the outside looking in. You care about coolness. Caring about coolness and looks and judgments is actually just another way of caring about stories. In order to reach for the divine, you have to feel where you are, locate yourself inside your body, and believe in its divinity.
You start off your letter talking about thumos, and how important it is to stand up for who you are. Right now, wanting new things is your way of standing up for who you REALLY are — not who your dad said you were, not who your friends say you are, not even who you say you are, but who you really, truly are, underneath all of the noise and confusion of your bad stories about yourself.
Maybe being beautiful matters to you. Maybe you want to be madly in love. Maybe you want to have lots of friends who adore you and see you as one of the kindest, most generous people they know. Because wanting things with clarity is bliss. Having a clear desire for something is satisfaction itself. You know what makes a woman invisible? The conviction that she has no right to be anything at all.
You know what makes a woman beautiful? The feeling that she deserves to be visible and feel beautiful. Is it possible? When you feel your desire, and make space for it, and let it breathe, you are beautiful and anything is possible.
So these old stories need to go. Destroy them. Set them on fire. You just have to set off down an empty road with an open heart. Think of the student who loves music, practicing her instrument, knowing what she loves the most. Being ugly presents you with an opportunity to do something that will benefit you for a lifetime — practicing self-love. Society conditions us to try and find ourselves in our relationships with others. Although being ugly is in no way an impediment to finding romantic love, I believe that this sort of love is an unrealistic standard for everyone.
What I now know is that these limiting beliefs were stopping me from having a positive relationship with myself. I was chasing an illusion that was leading me to loneliness.
He has supported thousands of people for over 25 years to break through social programming so they can rebuild the relationships they have with themselves. Trust yourself. Bet on yourself. If you do this, you will be opening yourself to be really loved. If these words resonate with you, please do go and check out our free video. Ideapod is all about supporting you in taking your power back from a system that so often takes it away. If you struggle to find parts of your appearance which you like, try focussing on other areas of your life.
Beauty can be found in the smallest of things, in the most unexpected places. And the great thing is, no one can really disagree with you, because like with art and music, beauty is subjective.
So, if you love singing, keep singing. If helping others is your passion, do it more. You can choose what you find beautiful about your personality or lifestyle, and build it up. Acceptance of ourselves can be really difficult. Justin Brown, the founder of Ideapod, talks about self-love and learning to embrace yourself as you are,. When it comes to looks, maybe you avoid mirrors or having pictures taken. Try facing these issues head-on. We lose touch with ourselves very easily, but I believe more of us would be content with our lives if we nurtured the relationship we have with our core being.
And the good news is, I know a great way to get back in touch with yourself:. Years of focussing on my appearance had taken me away from what truly matters — my feelings, my values, and my personality.
Plus, the relaxing flow is a great way to unwind and release stress and negativity. But, jealousy does nothing but make you feel worse about yourself.
Cheri Bermudez describes what jealousy can do in her article on Owlcation ,. Better looks, more money, a dream lifestyle. There are so many factors that come into good friendships and relationships.
Probably not, and the reason is that our looks only take us so far. After that, it really comes down to who we are as people. For others, the urge to avoid mirrors at all costs can become obsessive. You might feel as if mirrors are cursed! Whatever you do with mirrors , the intention should not be to suffer. Try looking with soft eyes when you confront yourself in the mirror.
Treat the image you see as you would a good friend. Many measure their self-esteem by assessing their beauty by other people's standards. This strategy is very unhelpful because the evaluation of your appearance depends on moods and thoughts in particular situations. The image in the mirror is not the place to search for self-esteem, especially because you feel vulnerable about it.
At least for the time being, look for your worthiness somewhere else. You might have children that adore you or a partner you can make laugh at the drop of a hat. Your friends may believe your beauty lies in your sharp wit, or in the way your whole face lights up when you smile. There are many other ways in which you enrich the world with beauty. When you begin to look for these instead of telling yourself how ugly you think you are, that's when you're going to start being able to appreciate all the loveliness you have to offer.
For more information on how she can help you, visit her website.
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